Evolution Schematic 06.13.07: Vince McMahon (Version 2.0) [Part 2]

Posted by Mathew Sforcina on 06.13.2007

What, you expect me to skimp? The man's "dead" for goodness sake!

Phase 11- Puppets, you'll find your place in line.

The next night, Vince, Shane and Rocky all explained the whole plan for those who didn't get it. But then Austin pulled a trump card, and stated that while his new contract did state that he can't attack Vince without provocation first, the contract did give him a World Title shot that night. Shane disagreed, so Austin produced Judge Mills Lane, who agreed with Steve. The match took place, but ended when the Corporation and Undertaker interfered. But now Vince had two major opponents. Steve, who would take on the Undertaker at Rock Bottom, and Mankind, who wanted his hands on Vince but would settle for Rocky at Rock Bottom. The Corporation grew at this point, adding Commissioner Shawn Michaels to replace Slaughter, Hired Gun Test and Kane, albeit the last one unwillingly. And Vince attached to the Buried Alive match that Austin's spot in the Royal Rumble was on the line. Both Austin and Foley won, although Vince was able to find a way to stop Rocky losing his belt (Foley had been complaining that he never said I Quit at Survivor Series. Well, with Socko in his mouth, Rocky wasn't able to say it either, was he?).

Near the end of the year however, disaster struck when Mankind got his hands on Shane and forced Vince to set up a World Title match later that night on Raw. The match was a wild affair, with The Corporation and DX at ringside. But the ending came when Austin ran in, blasted Rocky with a chair, and Mankind got the fall and the title. A dark day.

But luckily enough, Rocky was able to cheat his way to get the belt back at the Royal Rumble in an ‘I Quit' match by playing a recording of Foley saying I Quit, from a promo where he said he would make Rocky say it. Other Corporation members have a good night, winning their matches. But the big victory went to Vince.

See, after Austin won the Buried Alive match at Rock Bottom, Vince was forced to give him a slot in the Rumble. So Vince just rigged the drawing of Austin's number and got Austin #1. He then got himself #30 and made some other matches, but Shawn Michaels, who had been giving the Commissioners job with the assurance that he had control over everyone apart from Austin was annoyed at this. He then left the Corporation after giving Sweet Chin Music to Vince McMahon. He then gave Vince his ‘wish' and gave Vince the #2 slot in the Rumble. The Corporation responded by beating him up after DX, who weren't about to welcome Shawn back with open arms, set him up, thus putting him out, they thought. To counteract this (after the plan to get Vince the #30 slot ended up with Chyna getting it) Vince put a $100,000 bounty on Austin's head. So when the Rumble came round, Vince got beat up by Austin, Vince ran into a ladies room, Austin gave chase, and was then beat up by the Corporation. He was driven off in an ambulance, then returned to the ring (where Vince had begun to do color commentary) and proceeded to outlast everyone. Except Vince, who was still technically legal. Austin kicked Vince's ass a bit more, then The Rock came out and distracted Austin long enough to throw Austin out and win the Royal Rumble!

Phase 11b- Celebrate good times, come on!

The next night, a big celebration was held for Vince. He then relinquished his #1 contendership to the WWF title. He would not take the title shot at Wrestlemania. But this gave Shawn, who was still commissioner and since Vince was now wrestling had control over Vince, stated that if Vince did that, then the shot would go to whoever was second in the Rumble, which would be Austin. Vince was dismayed, but Austin gave him a slim ray of hope. Austin agreed to put up his shot at the title on a match at St Valentine's Day Massacre, in a cage match…against Vince. Provided all Corporation members (which now included Chyna) were banned from interfering. Vince guaranteed this, and also guaranteed that the WWF would never be the same after the match. It had better, since at Halftime Heat Rocky lost the WWF title back to Mankind, although their Last Man Standing match would lead to Rocky getting the belt back, surely. And after all, on Raw Saturday Night, Austin fell to the Corporation gauntlet match, being pinned by Vince. Everything would be A-OK, right?

So Rocky drew with Foley. But Vince, with his secret 7 foot 4 500 pound weapon (which was an amazing trick in of itself) named Paul Wight would save the day, right? Ok, so Vince is taken from the top of the cage to the Spanish announce table. No biggie, Paul will save the day. Oh no, Austin's leaving, quick Vince, think, think…

Flip The Bird!

Ok, so Austin's back and kicking Vince's ass again. Paul will win the match for Vince, no problem. Vince is busted open, and Austin's leaving, quick!

See Vince Bleed. See Vince Flip A Double Bird. Flip Vince, Flip. Bleed Vince, Bleed.

Stunner! But here comes Paul Wight! He's here to save Vince as he tosses Austin into the cage, which breaks, sending Austin out, and down onto the floor to win the match.

Crap.

But it's ok, with the ladder match the next night, Rocky was once again WWF champ, and once Mankind/Big Show (as he was quickly named) was set up with the winner being the special guest ref in the title match at Wrestlemania, all would be fine.

So Wrestlemania XV came around. And then Show goes and gets himself DQed. Sure, Mick was taken out, but that wasn't the point, Vince was counting on having a friendly ref. He then tried to manipulate Show into line by slapping him, which went about as well as you can expect. And then Chyna went and rejoined DX.

Oh wait, sorry, that's Kane got kicked out of the Corporation and HHH joined it. And so then Vince made himself the special guest ref, since Mick was in the hospital. But Shane retained the European Title, which made up for Bossman losing to Taker and getting hanged. So the main event stepped up. And then Michaels goes and throws Vince out of the special ref's job, since only he can assign a ref, and then Foley came back and…

Stunner, 1, 2, 3.

Late into the night and early into the next morning, Vince and Shane (probably still wearing his title belt) thought up a plan to get the belt off Austin. It would require some sacrifices in more ways than one, but it would have to work.

Phase 12- The "It Was Me All Along Austin!" period.

Vince found and talked to The Undertaker. Taker was currently Satanic and into Devil Worship, which probably made it easier for Vince to manipulate him into his way of thinking. He was already evil, this was just a matter of refocusing it. So Vince and Shane pretend to have a rift, whereby Taker was going after Stephanie, in an attempt to take over the WWF by manipulating Vince into doing what Taker wanted out of fear of hurting his daughter (which was a clue right there as to who thought it up) and Vince was trying to protect her while Shane was more concerned with getting the WWF title back and welded to Rock's waist or shoulder. Any part of his anatomy really. And the Corporation split, with Shamrock loyal to Vince and his efforts to save Stephanie (when Steph was kidnapped, Shamrock was the one to make Christian tell where she was, despite just getting a bloodbath) while everyone else was on Shane's side. Shane slapped Vince for getting his priorities wrong. After all, Vince gave Austin his Smoking Skull belt, Vince seemed prepared to ignore Austin, or at least put up with him while he was focused on stopping Undertaker. And Austin responded by doing the right thing and saving Stephanie before the Black Wedding could go through (and getting a ‘Thank You' from Vince).

And then Shane's Corporation and Undertaker's Ministry merged into The, well, Corporate Ministry. This lead to a couple of people leaving the groups (Rocky was kicked out and welcomed with open arms by the fans, and Shamrock and Test hooked up with Mankind and Big Show to form The Union). But then at Over The Edge 99, an event that is better known for the tragic accident of Owen Hart's fall then the title change, Shane as the special guest referee fast counted Austin down, giving the title belt to The Undertaker after Vince's attempted interference ‘backfired'.

And now that the belt was off Austin, the ‘Higher Power' could be revealed. And it was, when Vince took off his hood (after giving Austin a sneak peek), a shocking moment. Vince explained his plan to all, but didn't count on two people.

Steph and Linda McMahon. Both were appalled with Vince using them just to get the title belt off Austin. Linda was used to Vince doing stuff like that, and Shane had made a choice, but to involve Steph? That was a line that Vince didn't need to cross. And thus, Linda responded by stepping down as CEO of the WWF, and making Steve Austin her successor. After Austin raised hell like only he can, a match was made for King Of The Ring to settle the ownership struggle.

(A brief word on ownership if I may. There is some confusion as to WWF stock, and how whenever Vince gained 100% control, he always seemed to give it back to his family members again. Why did he do that? It was a tax issue almost certainly. There must be massive tax benefits to having the ownership split evenly between Steph, Shane, Vince and Linda. This led to problems several times for Vince, but he obviously felt the benefits outweighed the negatives.)

So in a handicap ladder match, Austin fought Vince and Shane, with 100% ownership of the WWF on the line, and no Corporate Ministry member could interfere. But that wasn't good. Vince could manipulate the rules, but not physically. So he came up with a way to cheat. The week before the PPV, Boss Man left the Ministry, helping Rocky (who was getting a world title shot at the PPV) to string Paul Bearer up onto a Brahma Bull symbol, as a snub in the face of Taker's stringing Austin up onto a cro…Undertaker symbol. And then, in the match (after they tried to make it look like Shane was injured and replace him with Steve Blackman, but GTV raised it's ugly head [not that anyone knows who's head it was/is, despite all this time passed] and showed that Shane was fine and hanging out with the Mean Street Posse), the briefcase was lifted/lowered at times to help Shane and Vince. And no Ministry members could interfere, remember. And then next night on Raw, before Austin activated his Title Match clause in his new contract that he made himself and won the belt, Boss Man was welcomed back to the Corporate Ministry.

The upshot is that Boss Man raised the briefcase, getting around the no interference stipulation by leaving the group before the match and going back afterwards. And that GTV still annoys this column.

But after Austin won the title belt the next night on Raw, Vince was seriously out of ideas. He had tried subtle manipulation, overt manipulation, and downright meddling, and Austin was STILL WWF champ. So Vince pulled one more ace from his sleeve. Austin vs. Undertaker, Fully Loaded, End Of An Era First Blood Match, Austin's Title Opportunities vs. Vince's career. If Austin lost, he would never get another WWF title shot again. If Austin won, Vince was gone from WWF programming. After all, Austin lost his last First Blood match, and that was because of Undertaker, this was fool proof, right? And Vince even signed the contract in Austin's blood, just to drive home the point. But Vince would win this time, for sure, motorcycle accident or no.

But no, Undertaker has to go and bleed after being hit with a camera. And so Vince was gone from WWF TV. He tried to say goodbye properly the next night, since Austin Stunned him as the PPV ended, but he just got sung out. So Vince was gone. But it wouldn't be forever.

Phase 13- Vince McMahon, YOUR WWF World Heavyweight Champion…

See, HHH managed to get the world title soon after Vince was forced to leave. And a couple of months later HHH, drunk with power, began making threats and such to Linda. This drew Vince out, who for all his manipulation still loved Linda. But surely Vince couldn't come back, especially for a world title shot. But it turns out that the contract between Austin and Vince for the first blood match staged that only one man could bring Vince back. And that was Austin. And Austin was up for a bit or manipulation himself. So he allowed Vince to return, and gave him the WWF title after Stunning HHH on an episode of Smackdown. Vince quickly forfeited the title, since he had agreed not to be involved in the business of WWF nor be on TV. Plus the fact that he wasn't about to go and get beat up on a regular basis. A 6 Pack challenge match was made for the vacant belt, which HHH won to regain the belt. But Vince wasn't done with Hunter.

See, the problem with Hunter was that, like Austin, he was not easily controlled. But while Austin was rebellious and crude, Hunter was self serving, degenerate, but smart. Austin, while a problem, was fairly easy to predict. He'd Stun anyone in site and drink beer. But Hunter, he was less predictable. And that was not acceptable to Vince. Plus there was the whole tormenting his kids, with whom Vince had patched up. But really, it's a case of Vince seeing too much of himself in HHH, and not liking what he saw.

So, after fixing the referee strike problem, at No Mercy, Vince was faced with an interesting problem. HHH was defending the world title, good, but it was against Austin. Talk about choosing between the lesser of two evils. So he just stole HHH's sledgehammer and let it play out, which turned out to be HHH winning after Rocky missing with his own sledgehammer. And then, like Vince needed more reason to hate HHH, he ‘ruins' his daughter's wedding by slipping her a mickey (not Foley) and marrying her in Vegas. So Vince, as was his style at this point at the event in question, screwed HHH at Survivor Series by springing Big Show on the match to replace Austin, who Rikishi took out, then swinging with the Title belt, connecting, chokeslam, new WWF champion. Hunter was less than pleased. So the two had a match at Armageddon. And Vince pulled out all the stops, and lasted almost half an hour against a guy at the peak of his career. But then Vince found out that his daughter has learnt well from him, and was manipulating him, when she turned on him and helped HHH win the match. After that, Vince stepped away from the cameras for a few months.

Phase 14- McMahon vs. McMahon vs. McMahon vs. McMahon.

Vince McMahon returned in the lead up to Wrestlemania 2000 to help Rock defeat Big Show and HHH in a handicap match to allow Rock a spot in the main event of Wrestlemania. Which was logical, since he hated HHH and Steph, wasn't particularly pleased with Shane, and had always thought Rock was proper WWF Champion material. At least, that's what we all thought. But like we always were, we were getting manipulated. Vince turned on Rock, and hooked up with HHH. Why? Because he had realized that instead of trying to fight a guy who was similar to him, why not join forces with him? So the Factgime was formed.

Phase 15- Joe Cool.

And almost immediately, HHH lost the world title to The Rock. See, Vince had forgotten how to manipulate gently, with finesse and style. He was at this point too heavy handed. And Linda was there to take advantage of this. And when HHH won the belt back, it wasn't with manipulation, it was pure dumb luck that lead to Undertaker returning and chokeslamming HHH in time for Shawn Michaels to DQ Rocky one last time in their Iron Man match.

But then, when he tried subtle again, setting up the 6 man tag match at King Of The Ring, Rock/Undertaker/Kane vs. HHH/Vince/Shane, it blew up in his face when Rocky pinned Vince to win the belt. At this point, Vince decided to leave again, this time going to be a ‘Genetic Jackhammer' with Linda, in a visual NO-ONE needed.

Phase 16- Driving Miss Linda.

Vince returned to WWF screens in November, encouraging fans to vote in the presidential election. But he was really there to stop, in his mind, the ruination of his company. He didn't like Mick Foley as commissioner, and wanted to get rid of him. This brought out Linda, who didn't want to get rid of Mick. Vince responded by saying that he wanted a divorce. This upset Linda, obviously. And after Armageddon, and after Linda got sick, Vince quickly got her doped up and took over the CEO position, thus making him the boss once again. And Vince once again got to running the show, this time with the added bonus that with Steph on his side and Linda more drugged than Keith Richards, there was no-one who could stop him. So he had ‘fun', opening flaunting his affair with Trish Stratus, then making her degrade herself on live television. Sure, Shane was about, trying to defend his mother's honor, and Austin was getting a title shot at Wrestlemania, but they were minor problems.

And the last one wasn't even a problem. Because Vince, leading up to Wrestlemania, had a dream come true. He finally got Austin under his control. Austin, injured and tired, was obsessed with getting his title back, so much so that he was willing to make a deal with Vince. Vince was more than happy to do so. But as soon as the dream result was achieved, a nightmare one did so as well.

Phase 16b- "The Very Fate Of WCW, Is In My Hands."

He thought he had won. He thought he had bought WCW, his rivals. He thought he had beaten Ted Turner, finally. And he did, since he was still in business and WCW wasn't. But he didn't get to buy WCW. Shane did it instead. And the match the two would have at Wrestlemania would have Mick Foley as the guest ref. Very vexing. But with Linda drugged up thanks to Trish, it'd be fine.

But he didn't count on Trish turning on him, which meant that Linda wasn't drugged, which led to Vince getting kicked squarely in the balls before getting Van Terminated by Shane at Wrestlemania. But that paled in comparison to Austin winning the world title, and joining forces with McMahon.

Phase 17- "The Rattlesnake, The Game and The Boss. Dammit."

The Two Man Power Trip began with Vince's blessing as Vince began to work at destroying Shane and WCW. Vince wasn't really involved that much in the Power Trip, but it was with his blessing, since they both were under his control, pretty much. But all too soon, HHH was injured and the Power trip came to an end. So to fight off WCW, he recruited Angle, although Angle and Austin did not exactly get on well. And then all hell broke loose.

Phase 18- ECF'nW! ECF'nW!

ECW reformed, owned by Stephanie, and aligned with Shane's WCW. They had sold their stock in WWF to someone, although that wasn't an issue right now. But now Vince was in a bind. He couldn't manipulate his way out of this one. He needed his WWF guys at their best to fight this new challenge. So he tried to get the old Austin back ("Give Me A Stunner Steve!"). But that only annoyed the new Austin, who promptly defected. Despite his wife putting aside their differences to fight the Alliance, Vince was stuck in a tough spot. He had to rely on his employees, some of which hated him, or at the least didn't trust him.

The InVasion was more Vince reacting and counter measures than any real plans on Vince's part. He tried to manipulate RVD to split the Alliance, but it didn't work. Luckily the WWF employees were able to fight off the Alliance long enough for Vince to work out the plan that would work. He used his entire manipulative powers to work out the plan. After the Winner Takes All match was made, Angle defected as a mole, and Angle then cost the Alliance the Winner Takes All match. The next night on Raw, as Sole Owner of the WWF (since he had Linda's support), he could crown Kurt the new WWF champion. But someone had something to say about that.

Phase 19- WHOOOOOO!

Ric Flair had bought the 50% stock in the company from Shane and Steph. And thus, now Vince had a new challenge to overcome. So after Vince humiliated JR by forcing him to kiss his bare ass on international television, and then got Jericho, one of his guys, as Undisputed World Champ, he decided to try to get rid of Flair by having a match with him. Proof that all those blows to the head did kill a few brain cells. Seriously, this guy was still winning world titles a couple of years ago, and Vince was going to have a match with him? Sure, Vince has won his share of matches, but still. Of course, the lead up to the match was interesting with Vince for the first time admitting that he enjoyed manipulating lives. But when Vince lost the match, he went off the deep end.

Well, further off at least.

He felt sure that Flair was going to ruin the WWF. So he'd kill it first by injecting it with a lethal dose of poison. It was old poison, but poison nevertheless. And while that was going on, he'd hope that Undertaker would end Flair for him. But luckily, Vince was able to manipulate the board to remove Flair's powers for a short while leading up to Wrestlemania. But after it, Vince's plans backfired when the board decided to split the brands.

Phase 19b- Flair has Arn, Vince has Kurt. Vince wins.

The draft was interesting, in that it showed Vince's thought process quite well.

1. The Rock- Still Vince's Golden Boy/Chosen One, despite all the problems. The Rock wass the perfect WWF Champ/Employee.
2. Kurt Angle- He might be a dork, but he was a talented, loyal dork.
3. Chris Benoit- Maintained the ‘Rasslin fan base, and could be a very useful hitman when needed.
4. Hulk Hogan- Vince's greatest creation.
5. Billy & Chuck- More Gold! Plus it gained points with the left wing media.
6. Edge- Star of the future, given proper molding and training and manipulation.
7. Rikishi- Dance Fat Boy, dance.
8. D-Von Dudley- Stopped Flair getting the Dudleyz, nothing special about the guy himself.
9. Mark Henry- Vince wanted to get his money back.
10. Maven- The Hardcore belt, plus he was one of Vince's more recent creations.

And Vince then tried to get Austin, but screwed that up. But he did have the stronger brand as the split came into effect. And soon enough, Vince didn't have to worry about Flair, since Austin drove Flair as nuts as he drove Vince. But then Flair broke the rules. He lost Austin. Vince couldn't accept that, so he challenged Flair to a match for 100% ownership, manipulated Brock Lesnar to helping him out, and got control of the WWE. But let's back up slightly.

Phase 20- Vince McMahon's Smackdown!

In the period between the draft and Vince taking control of both brands, Vince had fun while watching Raw collapse on itself. He had beautiful women at his beck and call, and had so much talent on his program that he could just sit back and let them go at each other and relax. It was run of the mill for him really, he got into the groove of gentle manipulation here and there, to steer the ship. And then he took control of both Raw and SmackDown, and decided to take some responsibilities off himself.

Phase 20b- General Managers, NOT Commissioners.

After killing the nWo, Vince created the new General Manager position on both brands. Steph running Smackdown, Eric running Raw. And Vince settled down to continue being king of the company and being the object of several women's desires. But he felt the need to return every once in a while to Raw when Bischoff got out of hand (when he wanted Bischoff to get Austin back for instance). And then Vince decided to finally get back at Hogan.

Phase 20c- Promotion vs. Talent

Vince was still upset over Hogan's leaving. Vince had been denied his chance to kill off his creation, to destroy Hulkamania when he wanted to, to end it when he wanted. But now that Hogan was back after he had walked out for the 4th or 5th time, he was able to finally do it. And this set off the Hogan/Vince battle, starting at Wrestlemania and ending when Vince unmasked Mr. America as Hogan a couple of months later. Vince got the final word on the matter, like he always does. The Vince/Hogan issue was childishly simple in it's path. Hogan always seemed one step ahead of Vince, until Vince manipulated his way to victory by keeping the tapes rolling after the end of a Smackdown. Simple, but it worked.

But this issue led to Vince having problems with Zach Gowen, the one legged boy who Hogan brought in, since he was impressed with his drive and determination in the face of adversity. Of course, Vince just saw him as a freak who had no business being in the company, but Vince's new buddy, the Real Brock Lesnar was able to take care of him for him. And that led to Vince having problems with his own blood once again.

Phase 20d- Acorns don't fall far from the tree.

The entire McMahon family was too similar to each other for their own good. And after Vince took out Hogan due to some petty grudge and Gowen out of spite, Steph had enough. Eric got along with Vince good enough, since Eric had experience with dealing with higher-ups. Steph lacked that. And so Vince fought Steph at No Mercy 2003, and choked her out, taking her off Smackdown. He replaced her with Paul Heyman.

But Heyman screwed up, and ended up letting Undertaker (who Vince had screwed out of the World title on the same night he beat Steph) get a match of Taker's choosing. Taker chose Vince, at Survivor Series, buried alive. Vince then did what he did best, and manipulated people. He acted like he was insane, that he was a religious zealot, claiming a ‘higher power' had given him the honor of killing off Taker. He then did what anyone can do, and got his ass kicked at the show, before Kane helped him win the match.

Vince then took some time off, to heal up. Hence, when he came back, people had forgotten he was evil.

Phase 21- Obviously China & Platinum pleased him.

And thus, throughout 2004 and into 2005, Vince was seen as a fairly decent guy. He exposed Kurt Angle's faked crippling, he stripped HHH of the World Title due to controversy, he took the WWE to Iraq, he rehired Matt Hardy, he let ECW be reborn, he basically rarely showed up and when he did, he did things the fans liked. Hence he was popular again, thus proving he could manipulate anyone at any time. The blown quads at the 05 Rumble slowed him down slightly, but since he was rarely on camera, it didn't matter. But all too soon, Raw changed networks and his family finally united.

Phase 22- The McMahon Family, As One!

Sure, they all got Stunned by Austin for their troubles, but for the first time in a long time, all 4 McMahon Family Members were on the same page. Albeit a page the fans didn't like. And thus he fell back into his moderately old ways of direct, self-serving manipulation, forming Vince's Devils, firing people, screwing up careers, pissing off Shawn Michaels…

Phase 22b- McMahonism.

The problems Vince had with Shawn Michaels were really the beginning of the end for Vince. After merely not getting on with Shawn, Vince's normal manipulations turned weird. Weirder that usual. He started proclaiming his Godhood, he hung around male cheerleaders, he forced DX to reform (Oh no, a group reforming that would make him millions, how sad he must have felt when he cashed those checks, just by letting them get under his skin). Vince seemed to be going off the deep end. And then he just left the pool entirely.

Phase 22c- Battle Of The Billionaires

He went after Donald Trump, of all people. Ok, technically he was a billionaire, but that shouldn't mean picking fights. But Vince wanted the power, the glory of humiliating Donald Trump, by shaving his head. But Bobby Lashley messed that up, and Vince got shaved.

Phase 22d- Vince McMahon, ECW World Champion

So from Trump to Lashley, Vince turned his attention, and set out to destroy him, to humiliate him, to manipulate him right out of the business. And while at first it worked, eventually, Bobby Lashley overcame. And that was it for Vince.

Phase 23- The Crazy Days.

Vince McMahon had lost in a battle of wits, battle of wills, battle of minds, to Bobby Lashley. Sure, he said it was about the ECW World Title, but really, it was because he got outsmarted by Bobby Freaking Lashley. He just lost his mind. And then…

Today- Who Blew Up Vince?

He lost the rest of him as well.

Conclusion

Maybe you disagree with this column's opinion. Perhaps you feel that Vince was an egomaniac, pure and simple. Maybe you think he was a businessman through and through, and everything he did was calculated. Maybe you just think that he was a man who has made more good choices than bad ones (sure the WBF and the XFL were huge mistakes, but it's only 2 out of hundreds). But whatever your opinion, you have to admit that without him, Professional Wrestling would be a totally different world.

Smaller, for one.

And that the Industry is diminished because of his passing.

1945-2007.

Writer's Notes

Yes, I know he's not really dead. Do not email me about that.